Suddenly, there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of. And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready For that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: So that means it was…let’s see…February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means…lemme check the odometer…Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here !

And Elaine is thinking: He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed – even before I sensed it — that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s sensitive. He’s vulnerable. He’s afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: I’m gonna have them look at the Transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They’ll probably say it’s only a 90-day warranty. That’s exactly what they’re gonna say, the scumballs! And

Elaine is thinking: Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight

to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly wonderful person, a person I enjoy being with, person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me, a person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty! I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their….

“Roger,” Elaine says aloud.

“What?” says Roger, startled.

“Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have . . Oh God, I feel so…..”

(She breaks down, sobbing.)

“What?” says Roger.

“I’m such a fool,” Elaine sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.”

“There’s no horse?” says Roger.

“You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Elaine says.

“No!” says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

“It’s just that…It’s that I…I need some time,” Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally, he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

“Yes,” he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

“Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?” she says.

“What way?” says Roger.

“That way about time,” says Elaine.

“Oh,” says Roger. “Yes.”

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what he might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

“Thank you, Roger,” she says.

“Thank you,” says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, grabs some beer and pizza from the refrigerator, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of Gilligan’s Island. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it.

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine’s, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: “Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?”

Shannon could hear the footsteps behind her as she walked toward home. The thought of being followed made her heart beat faster. “You’re being silly,” she told herself, “no one is following you.” To be safe, she began to walk faster, but the footsteps kept up with her pace. She was afraid to look back and she was glad she was almost home. Shannon said a quick prayer, “God please get me home safe.” She saw the porch light burning and ran the rest of the way to her house. Once inside, she leaned against the door for a moment, relieved to be in the safety of her home. She glanced out the window to see if anyone was there. The sidewalk was empty.

After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and get on-line. She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213. She checked her Buddy List and saw GoTo123 was on. She sent him an instant message:

ByAngel213: Hi I’m glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home today. It was really weird!

GoTo123: LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you? Don’t you live in a safe neighborhood?

ByAngel213: Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz’ I didn’t see anybody when I looked out.

GoTo123: Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven’t done that have you?

ByAngel213: Of course not. I’m not stupid you know.

GoTo123: Did you have a softball game after school today?

ByAngel213: Yes and we won!!

GoTo123: That’s great! Who did you play?

ByAngel213: We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross! They look like bees. LOL

GoTo123: What is your team called?

ByAngel213: We are the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They are really kewl.

GoTo123: Did you pitch?

ByAngel213: No I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be done before my parents get home. I don’t want them mad at me. Bye

GoTo123: Catch you later.. Bye

Meanwhile……
GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search for her profile. When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out. He took out a pen and began to write down what he knew about Angel so far.

Her name: Shannon
Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985
Age:13
State where she lived: North Carolina
Hobbies: softball, chorus, skating and going to the mall.

Besides this information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told him. He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon until her parents came home from work. He knew she played softball on Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the Canton Cats. Her favorite number 7 was printed on her jersey. He knew she was in the seventh grade at the Canton Junior High School. She had told him all this in the conversations they had on-line. He had enough information to find her now.

Shannon didn’t tell her parents about the incident on the way home from the ball park that day. She didn’t want them to make a scene and stop her from walking home from the softball games. Parents were always overreacting and hers were the worst. It made her wish she was not an only child. Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents wouldn’t be so overprotective.

By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her. Her game was in full swing when suddenly she felt someone staring at her. It was then that the memory came back. She glanced up from her second base position to see a man watching her closely. He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when she looked at him. He didn’t look scary and she quickly dismissed the fear she had felt. After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the coach. She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him. He nodded and she smiled back. He noticed her name on the back of her shirt. He knew he had found her. Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her. It was only a few blocks to Shannon’s home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly returned to the park to get his car. Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat until the time came to go to Shannon’s house. He drove to a fast food restaurant and sat there until time to make his move.

Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in the living room. “Shannon, come here,” her father called. He sounded upset and she couldn’t imagine why. She went into the room to see the man from the ballpark sitting on the sofa. “Sit down,” her father began, “this man has just told us a most interesting story about you.”

Shannon moved cautiously to a chair across from the man. How could he tell her parents anything? She had never seen him before today!

“Do you know who I am Shannon?” The man asked

“No”, Shannon answered.

“I am a police officer and your online friend, GoTo123.”

Shannon was stunned. “That’s impossible! GoTo is a kid my age! He’s 14 and he lives in Michigan!”

The man smiled. “I know I told you all that, but it wasn’t true. You see Shannon there are people on-line who pretend to be kids; I was one of them. But while others do it to find kids and hurt them, I belong to a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators. I came here to find you to teach you how dangerous it is to give out too much information to people on-line. You told me enough about yourself to make it easy for me to find you. Your name, the school you went to, the name of your ball team and the position you played. The number and name on your jersey just made finding you a breeze.”

Shannon was stunned. “You mean you don’t live in Michigan?”

He laughed. “No, I live in Raleigh. It made you feel safe to think I was so far away, didn’t it?” She nodded. “I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she wasn’t as lucky. The guy found her and murdered her while she was home alone. Kids are taught not to tell anyone when they are alone, yet they do it all the time on-line. The wrong people trick you into giving out information a little here and there on-line. Before you know it, you have told them enough for them to find you without even realizing you have done it. I hope you’ve learned a lesson from this and won’t do it again.”

“I won’t,” Shannon promised solemnly.

“Will you tell others about this so they will be safe too?”

“It’s a promise!” That night Shannon and her dad and Mom all knelt down together and prayed. They thanked God for protecting Shannon from what could have been a tragic situation.

The Internet can be a really fun and fascinating place. There are so many things to see and people to talk to. This doesn’t mean there is no danger though! Please becareful with who you talk to and with giving out information. There are people that prey on others, especially children, and exploit them.

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. “Six pairs of hands! No Way!” said the Angel.
The Lord replied, “Oh, it’s not the hands that are the problem. It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!”
“And that’s on the standard model?” the Angel asked.
The Lord nodded in agreement, “Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word.”

The Angel tried to stop the Lord. “This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.”
“But I can’t!” the Lord protested, “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of five on a pound of hamburger and can get a six-year-old to stand in the shower.”
The Angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord.”
“She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”
“Will she be able to think?” asked the Angel.
The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.”

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”

“That’s not a leak,” the Lord objected. “That’s a tear!”
“What’s the tear for?” the Angel asked.
The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride.”

The Angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything for this one. You even created the tear!”
The Lord looked at the Angel and smiled and said, “I’m afraid you are wrong again, my friend. I created the woman, but she created the tear!”

There is a story many years ago of an elementary teacher. Her name was Mrs. Thompson. And as she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn’t play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s and then putting a big “F” at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child’s past records and she put Teddy’s off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy’s first grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners…he is a joy to be around.”

His second grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.”

His third grade teacher wrote, “His mother’s death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn’t show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren’t taken.”

Teddy’s fourth grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest in school. He doesn’t have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class.”

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy’s. His present which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume.

But she stifled the children’s laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, “Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.”

After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one her “teacher’s pets.”

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he’d stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor’s degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer – the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.

The story doesn’t end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he’d met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson’s ear, “Thank you, Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.” Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, “Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn’t know how to teach until I met you.”

Warm someone’s heart today…. Pass this along.

More Dumb Laws at Weird Facts

YOUR FORTUNE will go up and down this year – especially if you were born in 1939. You may feel restricted, with few opportunities to put your ideas into action. For rabbits born in 1963 and 1975, consider your options carefully before you make any moves. Your luck will improve in the second half of the year and you will do really well. Rabbits should take things one step at a time this year. Beware of friends with ulterior motives who may deceive and hurt you. There may be arguments within the family.

WORK – There may be bitterness in the beginning, but sweetness will soon follow. For rabbits born in 1975, a promotion may be in store. Those who are keen to venture out on a new business should make plans well in advance, and avoid making rash moves. Hard work and determination will be rewarded. If you were born in 1975 this year is well suited for traveling, studying and working overseas – you may even get a promotion. Born in 1987? You have to study hard this year – but if you do, you stand to gain top marks.

MONEY – Not a good year for high-risk investment or gambling – especially if you were born in 1951. You may feel like nothing is going according to plan, but keeping calm in the midst of difficulties will stay you on good ground – don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

HEALTH – Make time for rest. Rabbits tend to bottle up their feelings. Learn to share your emotions with your family. If you were born in 1927, you should cut down on long working hours. Those born in 1939 must be careful of accidents.

LOVE and FAMILY – Married rabbits will enjoy a stable relationship. Singles will find opportunities to meet people with similar interests – and even establish steady relationships. But be careful to guard your heart, as the relationship may be just as quick to end. Young female rabbits may meet potential partners.

Compatible love partners: Goat, Dog, Pig, and Snake

Not compatible in love: Rooster

Compatible Business Relationship: Goat, Pig

DRAGON
1916 1928 1940 1952 1964 1976 1988 2000

Good news – your fortune will improve and remain stable this year. Lucky stars appear to accompany you throughout the year so your plans will work out well. All is peaceful at home, especially if you were born in 1928 – you’ll be respected by your children and grandchildren. Young Dragons particularly these born in 1988, will achieve good academic results. The main exception is Dragons born in the year 1952 – there’ll be a few ups and downs. You may be driven by emotions and be tempted to have an affair or gamble unwisely. Think long-term, and make wise choices.

WORK – There will be a lot of opportunities for development for the first half of the year – take them seriously. It will be in your best interests to cooperate with people in the same trade as you do. If you are a young Dragon born in the year 1988, your teachers will take good care of you – but try to control your temper. The help of your classmates will be invaluable – if you get it, you will really shine this year.

MONEY – A much better year than last year. Wage-earners born in 1964 may get promoted. Those born in 1952 should avoid gambling and risky investments. If you were born in 1940, beware of burglaries.

HEALTH – Not too bad a year, in terms of health -especially if you were born in 1964. Dragons suffering from chronic illnesses can expect an unexpectedly swift recovery in their health. Youngsters should not indulge in too many wild and fun-seeking events.

LOVE and FAMILY – Singles will find their popularity rising this year. Those born in the year 1976 will find their love lives blossoming and reaching greater heights. However, do not fall blindly in love – especially if you were born in 1940. Your relationships may get complicated, so choose your partners wisely. Born in 1964? You’ll enjoy a happy family life this year.

Compatible love partners: Monkey, Snake, Rooster, and Pig

Not compatible in love: Dog

Compatible in business: Monkey, Snake, and Rooster

SNAKE
1917 1929 1941 1953 1965 1977 1989 2001

Phew! A better year then the last. For those born in the year 1977, despite frequent obstacles in most endeavors, you can reach a new peak if you work hard without slacking and be flexible in accepting new situations. Bad relationships with peers – or with family members and neighbors, in the case of those born in 1941 – can have adverse effects on your financial fortune.

WORK – This is not the right time to change jobs or pursue new careers. Be careful not to overspend or you may incur losses. You may also be under a lot of pressure. However, Snakes born in 1965 are the exception – your career appears to be well under control, and will reap rich rewards. Just keep business-related secrets to yourself as these secrets can develop into various career opportunities for you. Younger snakes born in 1989 lack concentration this year and may not want to study – but try to keep up with your schoolmates.

MONEY – There will be a stable income this year. However, for those born in 1929, fortune is not ideal. There will be conflicts and arguments over money. If you were born in 1941, be careful of fire or burglaries at home.

HEALTH – Overwork and high stress may cause insomnia and heart problems -especially for male snakes. Eat proper meals and exercise more – any exercises or treatments that help to relax your mind and body (like tai chi or aromatherapy) are of special benefit to you. Those born in 1953 will enjoy a year of good health.

LOVE and FAMILY – Married snakes have a fairly stable relationship and enjoy a close family life. And singles may meet their partners this year! However, you should remain calm generous – especially since there will be competitors in the game – or the romance will not work out.

Compatible love partners: Rooster, Dog, and Ox

Not compatible in love: Pig

Compatible in business: Rooster

HORSE
1918 1930 1942 1954 1966 1978 1990 2002

Good fortune is yours this lucky year. There may be difficulties in the beginning for those born in 1978, but things will turn out well in the end. Head-strong Horses can seem a bit arrogant sometimes. If you were born in 1966, don’t act rashly. It’s better to keep a low profile and build your base for the first six months – but by the end of the year your fortune will improve. Great news for those born in 1942 – this may be the year to put long-term plans into action, and make your dreams come true!

WORK – It’s a slow start but hard work and perseverance will help you overcome these temporary problems. Horses born in 1990 will do very well in studies this year. For those born in 1954, business will boom – but don’t neglect advice from experts and those with experience.

MONEY – Investments will reap profits for those born in 1942, but if you were born in 1930, finances are limited, so keep a careful rein on your spending. For those born in 1954, there may be potential financial loss toward the end of the year. Do not boast about your wealth, or you may be robbed.

HEALTH – Horses tend to love junk food – and this year you will be very tempted to overeat or drink. Although your health will be generally good this year, try to eat more healthily – you may stop being a sleek Horse and become a plump pony! Those born in 1954 must watch your liquor intake.

LOVE and FAMILY – Married hoses will enjoy a harmonious relationship – and if you were born in 1930 there may be a happy event in your family. Single Horses will have plenty of chances to meet new friends. If you were born in 1978, your love life will boom! This is a good year for single horses to get married.

Compatible love partners: Dog, Goat, and Tiger

Not compatible in love: Monkey

Compatible in business: Rooster, Dog

GOAT
1919 1931 1943 1955 1967 1979 1991 2003

The beginning of the year is not great – but don’t be discouraged. Keep going – a smooth and stable fortune lies ahead. Goats born in 1967 have the best fortune of all the goats this year – it will be a particularly happy year. Male Goats may be under a lot work and family pressure. Female Goats will enjoy a more successful year. If you’re an unmarried female Goat, this is an exceptionally great year for romance – your love relationships will be sweet and affectionate.

WORK – An increased in workload and heavy responsibilities may increase the pressure on you and make you nervous – especially if you’re male. But married female Goats working overseas will have good career prospects. There will be difficulties throughout the year, but noting that hard work and perseverance cannot overcome. Be patient and success will be yours at the right time. If you are born in 1979, work hard and you can gain excellent results. For those born in 1943, there will be opportunities to work in foreign countries.

MONEY – Fortune in money is fair. Avoid gambling, and don’t get involved in high-risk investments, particularly for those born in 1955. But if you were born in 1943, money luck is shining on you. This will be a profitable year for you.

HEALTH – Avoid going to places with high pollution. If you were born in 1931, beware of headaches, nasal and liver problems. Watch what you eat – food poisoning may result in more serious intestinal problems. Young Goats born in 1991 should watch out for sharp objects and water.

LOVE and FAMILY – Married couples may find themselves easily engaged in tiffs over minor issues. There are many opportunities for single Goats to enjoy new romances. Those born in 1979 should be patient if you have not yet met a suitable partner. Everything will happen in good time.

Compatible love partners: Horse, Pig, and Rabbit

Not compatible in love: Ox

Compatible in business: Rabbit, Goat

MONKEY
1920 1932 1944 1956 1968 1980 1992 2004

This is a year of fortune for you. But there may still be a few tricky moments – particularly in relationships. Monkeys are always looking for new chances to shine, but be careful not to get too caught up with temporary success. Pride comes before a fall, so don’t let your success get into your head. You need to stay sensible this year to do well. This is especially true for those born in 1980. You will do well in your studies, but avoid being too arrogant about your good grades.

WORK – Try not to be reckless and make decisions on impulse. Think before you act, and learn to respond rather than react. If you’re an employee, it’s best to fulfill your duties well and avoid making risky moves. Those born in 1968 will have obstacles in business, so you must work hard to achieve your goals. Born in 1956? Moving or working in other cities will bring you success.

MONEY – For those born in 1932, this is a year of good fortune. Investments you made sometime ago remain stable and profitable, but avoid engaging in risky business activities, or you may lose money. If you were born in 1944, your hard work will turn bad luck to good – but be careful of spending more than you have.

HEALTH – Little Monkeys born in the year 1992 may encounter health problems. Generally, monkeys are highly emotional and will catch minor illnesses easily. Extra vitamin dosage will keep the germs at bay. Those born in 1944 may suffer from vexation and nervousness. Keep an open mind – don’t let stress wear you down. If you were born in 1932,take a health exam to make sure your liver and lungs are working well.

LOVE and FAMILY – Monkeys born in 1932 will be loved and respected by family. There may be troubled waters in love relationships for monkeys born in 1956. Married people may have arguments with partners over minor issues – especially if you were born in 1980 (try not to be arrogant during arguments, it may only make matters worse!). Singles should get out and enjoy lots of social activities. Don’t let first impressions get in the way – look beneath the surface and you may find your perfect partner.

Compatible love partners: Rat, Dragon, and Snake

Not compatible in love: Tiger

Compatible in business: Dragon

ROOSTER
1921 1933 1945 1957 1969 1981 1993 2005

The road ahead is filled with unexpected twists and turns. There appears to be an unlucky star over Roosters this year – the Tai Sui star. At times a project which is close to completion may be hindered at the last minute, with something needing to be changed. If you’re a married female Rooster, the domestic routine may get you down this year. Those born in 1969 should beware of rumors – they can cause business failures. The best thing you can do is to stay calm and make time to de-stress by doing your own thing”. Try a relaxing new hobby. Spend time with friends and above all, stop worrying. One in a thousand roosters will have a fantastically successful year. Could you be that one?

WORK – The road ahead is rugged. For those born in 1945, it may seem that often wishes don’t come true. But keep calm and stick to your goal, and there will be good results later in the year. Be very careful if you were born in 1933 – people may take advantage of you. But working overseas appears to be promising for Roosters this year.

MONEY – This is not a good time for high-risk business or gambling. For those born in 1957, you may get cheated if you are not careful, so be on your guard. Don’t take risks against the law.

HEALTH – Those born in 1921 may experience a series of minor aches and pains. Eat and rest well. All Roosters should beware of traffic accidents (especially if you were born in 1981). Roosters also need to watch out for accidents that involve water and fire.

LOVE and FAMILY – If you’re a single female Rooster, you’ll have a flock of admirers after you this year. Enjoy yourself by all means, but be careful not to let people take advantage of you. The relationships may seem hot at first, but they’ll only fizzle out if you take things for granted. Married Roosters may feel a bit bored and irritated by their partners. Make the extra effort to care for each other and be considerate so as to prevent further disagreements.

Compatible love partners: Dragon, Ox, and Snake

Not compatible in love: Rabbit

Compatible in business: Snake, Dragon, and Ox

DOG
1922 1934 1946 1958 1970 1982 1994 2006

Steady, stable fortune lies ahead – especially if you’re a female Dog. Married women will play a large part in keeping their family stable and harmonious. Single female Dogs will be admired at work – they’ll also have plenty of new boyfriends and may even meet Mr. Right (especially if you were born in 1970 or 1958). At work, male and female Dogs will find progress slow but steady. But those born in 1922 will not be as lucky. They should be on the alert for possible cheats, burglary and property losses at the end of the year.

WORK – Businessmen will enjoy better prospects this year. It will be beneficial to your career if you are able to change with the times, and adapt to new situations. Be open to new ideas and suggestions. Work conscientiously, and you can achieve good results. Those born in 1982 will do well in studies. Avoid arguing with your schoolmates and friends. Work looks good for Dogs born in 1970.

MONEY – You will have better income this year. However, avoid spending money lavishly, and do not expect too much “easy money” from unusual sources. Those born in 1934 must be careful with your money or you will suffer losses. Dogs born in 1946 will get some good returns from investments.

HEALTH – Health is below average. You may feel tired – especially if you were born in 1946. Rest and exercise more, and you will feel better. If you were born in 1982, give that rock-climbing holiday a miss – your stars show you may fall from a high place this year. Those born in 1922 ought to beware of liver and heart problems.

LOVE and FAMILY – This is a lucky year in terms of relationships for those born in 1958. Married couples will enjoy a great year of marriage. Singles will have plenty of opportunities to meet new friends, and may even have a hard time deciding on a right partner!

Compatible love partners: Horse, Tiger, and Rabbit

Not compatible in love: Dragon

Compatible in business: Tiger, Horse

PIG
1923 1935 1947 1959 1971 1983 1995 2007

This is a stable year for the pigs. Progress is satisfactory, and you will be supported and assisted by others when it comes to problems, especially if you were born in 1947. You’ll make the most of your luck if you maintain good relationships with family, friends and colleagues. Male Pigs will also do well in business – but only if they don’t get overly worked up or anxious over difficulties that may develop. Female Pigs have harmonious family lives – but make sure you take of the seniors in your family. Born in 1983? Your studies will go well – You may even achieve ideal academic results.

WORK – If you find it hard to struggle through business on your own, consider joint endeavors, which should yield prosperous results. For those born in 1959, there will be particularly good progress at work. However, you must persevere and stay focused on the task in order to succeed.

MONEY – Moving to a new home or doing renovations to your house isn’t a good idea for Pigs this year. However there will be a better income than last year. Don’t indulge in high risk speculation though. For Pigs born in 1935, fortune is neither good nor bad. There are plenty of obstacles, but if you wait for the right moment, success will be yours.

HEALTH – For those born in 1923, you will suffer from headaches and insomnia. Male Pigs love a good party, but this year Pigs in general should drink alcohol only moderately, or your health condition may worsen.

LOVE and FAMILY – If you’re single, you’ll have a complicated love life this year – or an exciting one, depending on your point of view! Beware of a third party in your love life, especially for Pigs born in 1971. Those born in 1935 should make it a point to take care of your family. If you were born in 1923, you may feel a bit cross this year – but it will help to see things from young people’s point of view.

Compatible love partners: Tiger, Rabbit, and Goat

Not compatible in love: Snake

Compatible in business: Pig

RAT
1924 1936 1948 1960 1972 1984 1996 2008

Yippee! Rats will have a very lucky and prosperous year. You may even enjoy magnificent career prospects, especially if you were born in 1948 (there may be a promotion ahead). All Rats – especially female Rats – looks like they’ll be able to overcome all obstacles and push their way through to fame and fortune. If you’re a married female Rat, you’ll really be able to help your husband in his job this year. You’ll do even better if you ask for help from others. Rats do best when they’re in a crowd.

WORK – There will be many opportunities for you to outperform others and show your talent, especially if you were born in 1948. This is a lucky year career-wise for Rats born in 1960 as well. Everything will go according to plan, and your dreams will be fulfilled – if you put aside your pride to ask for the help of others and heed advice given to you. If you were born in 1984, your teachers may be amazed at your witty and clever remarks! Stay humble (especially male Rats) – no one wants to help an arrogant Rat!

MONEY – The only down side to your year is your financial fortune. Because you are doing so well at work (and in love), you’ll be tempted to spend, spend, spend! Try to control this impulse – think ahead and save for the future. Rats born in 1936 should keep your eyes on the budget, or risk financial loss. For Rats this year, short-term investments are more profitable than long-term ones.

HEALTH – Any sustained illnesses will have a chance of recovery. Rats should watch what they eat and pay special care to the liver and kidneys, particularly those born in 1924 or 1972.

LOVE and FAMILY – Married couples will enjoy a close and happy married life. Single Rats, especially those born in 1960 and 1972, will have lots of admirers – and the end of the year (near 2000) is a good time for you to get married. But don’t rush – it’s better to marry the right person later than to marry the wrong person sooner, but forever. If you were born in 1924, you may feel lonely sometimes. Don’t be shy about being friendly to family and pals – they’ll enjoy your company.

Compatible love partners: Ox, Dragon, and Monkey

Not compatible in love: Horse

Compatible in business: Dragon, Ox

OX
1925 1937 1949 1961 1973 1985 1997 2009

It a good thing Ox are stubborn – you’ll need to overcome quite a few obstacles this year, especially if you were born in 1961. It’s better to wait for the right time than to rush into things. Take good care of the family and enjoy the support they give you this year – it will help you to brave the storms. Your friends will be a pillar of strength for you in your time of stress. Look to the older generation to bring luck to you by listening to what they tell you, especially if you were born in 1937.

WORK – Be extra careful when cutting a deal in business. Don’t push too hard against other people and keep yourself away from gossip. There will be obstacles in the careers of those born in 1937, so it’s best to stay where you are, as this is not a good year for moving career-wise. New friends will bring luck to those born in 1949.

MONEY – Not a great year – except for those born in 1925, who will have a smooth flow of fortune. Remember not to gamble and avoid giving out loans, or you may run short of money. Ox born in 1937 should avoid moving or construction. And don’t listen to rumors if you were born in 1925 – you don’t need the grief they may bring!

HEALTH – You need to take care of yourself this year – it’s not the right time to take up skydiving or motor racing. Beware of stomach or intestine-related problems. Pay attention to personal safety and possible injury. Younger Ox should take care of their older family members.

LOVE and FAMILY – Single Ox may enjoy a flourishing love life (especially if you were born in 1973), but you’ll have to go through some sorrows first. You should be honest and sincere in order to win your lover’s heart. Married persons will not be so lucky, as you will quarrel with your partners easily. Learn to speak peace rather than justice.

Compatible love partner: Rooster, Snake, and Rat

Not compatible on love: Goat, Rabbit

Compatible in business: Rooster

TIGER
1926 1938 1950 1962 1974 1986 1998 2010

Fortune looks quite good this year. There may not be any excitement or progress in the first half of the year, but things will look up in the second half – especially if you were born in 1974. Young tigers will do well in studies – but don’t be over-anxious to start new love affairs. Wait for the right person – they’ll come at the right time. Female Tigers have stronger fortune this year and you’ll celebrate many happy events in your family. Go with the flow where relationships are concerned and pick the right time to ask for favors.

WORK – A smooth year for Tiger businessmen and students (especially those born in 1926, 1938 and 1986). You will make steady progress if you plan every step of the way carefully. For those born in 1962, everything will run smoothly, and you may achieve outstanding results. But avoid long working hours.

MONEY – A promising profits from regular income, but do not expect too much from other sources of gain. For those born in 1950, be extra careful, as you could be easily cheated. Tigers born in 1938 must avoid gambling – spend your money on your loved ones instead.

HEALTH – If you have been sick, lots of rest and water will help you recover faster. If you are going overseas, take extra precautions with your health and personal safety, especially if you were born 1938. Health isn’t that great for Tigers born in 1986.

LOVE and FAMILY – Single Tigers will have plenty of romance. If you were born in 1974, you may even meet your future spouse. Those born in 1926 should try to understand that the younger generations have different ways of doing things compared to the past.

Compatible love partners: Horse, Dog, and Pig

Not compatible in love: Monkey

Compatible in business: Horse

Chinese Zodiac is base on a lunar calendar and your actually birthday could be slightly off

A

You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get.
You have no patience for flirting and can’t be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing.
You are an up front person. When it comes to sex, it’s action that counts not obscure hints. Your mate’s physical attractiveness
is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate and sexual as well as  being 
much more adventurous than you appear; however, you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs are 
your primary concern.

B

You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an
expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your
expression of endearments and particularly when it comes to lovemaking. You will hold off until everything meets with your
approval. You can control your appetite and abstain from sex if need be. You require new sensations and experiences. You are
willing to experiment.

C

You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. 
You must be able to talk to your sex partner before, during, and after. You want the object of your affection to be socially 
acceptable and good looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sexual and sensual, needing 
someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to go for long periods 
without sexual activity. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.

D

Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in pursuit. You do not give up your quest
easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly sexual, passionate, loyal,
and intense in your involvement, sometimes possessive and jealous. Sex to you is pleasure to be enjoyed. You are stimulated
by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open.

E

Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually
stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion for a bedmate. You hate 
disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for
the challenge is more important than the sexual act for you, but once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly
loyal. When you don’t have a good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book.
(Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book.)

F

You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt,
yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy,
extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very
generous lover.

G

You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal
or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of erotic stimulation,
because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active sexually that is, when you find the time. Your duties and
responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to a lover, but no 
trouble getting close sexually.

H

You seek a mate who can enhance your reputation and earning ability. You will be very generous to your lover once you
have attained a commitment. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend
to be frugal in your spending and dating habits and equally cautious in your sexual  involvement. You are a sensual and
patient lover.

I

You have a great need to be loved, appreciated… Even worshipped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh.
You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor.
You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of sexual
expression. You bore easily and thus require sexual adventure and change. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are
sometimes downright lustful.

J

You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free
in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it’s all in good 
taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to 
sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you’re being appreciated.

K

You are totally fucking marvelous!

L

You are very romantic, idealistic, and somehow you believe that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate or
attracting people who have unusual troubles. You see yourself as your lover’s savior. You are sincere, passionate, lustful,
and dreamy. You can’t help falling in love. You fantasize and get turned on by movies and magazines. You do not tell others
of this secret life, nor of your sexual fantasies.

M

You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you;
there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe
in total sexual freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You
also enjoy mothering your mate.

N

You are crap in bed.

O

You are very interested in sexual activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your sexual
energy into making money and/or seeking power. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate,
compassionate, sexual lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Sex is serious business; thus you demand intensity
diversity, and are willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in
check.

P

You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn’t think of doing anything that might harm your image or reputation.
Appearances count, therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough,
you may view your partner as your enemy; a good fight stimulates those sex vibes. You are relatively  free of sexual hang-ups.
You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a
good deal of physical gratification.

Q

You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy.  It is not easy for a partner to keep up
with you, sexually or otherwise. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people of other ethnic groups. You
need romance, hearts and flowers, and lots of conversation to turn you on and keep you going.

R

You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual
equal the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness
is very important to you. You have to be proud of your partner. You are privately very sexy, but you do not bed, you are willing
to serve as teacher. Sex is important; you can be a very demanding playmate.

S

You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in
intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know
all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don’t fool around.
You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along.

T

You are very sensitive, private, and sexually passive; you like a partner who takes the lead. Music, soft lights and romantic
thoughts turn you on. You fantasize, but do not tend to fall in and out of love easily. When in love, you are romantic, idealistic,
mushy, and extremely intense. You enjoy having your senses and your feelings stimulated, titillated, and teased. You are a
great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, oftentimes all in your own head.

U

You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love, you are in love with love, always looking for someone to
adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a roamer and need adventure, excitement, and freedom. You deal in potential
relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate looking good. Your sex drive is strong and you desire instant
gratification. You are willing to put your partner’s pleasures above your own.

V

You are individualistic, and you need freedom, space, and excitement. You wait until you know someone well before committing
yourself. Knowing someone means psyching him out. You feel a need to get into his head to see what makes him tick. You are
attracted to eccentric types. Often there is an age difference between you and your lover. You respond to danger, thrills, and
suspense. The gay scene turns you on, even though you yourself may not be a participant.

W

You are very proud, determined, and you refuse to take no for an answer when pursuing love. Your ego is at stake. You are romantic,
idealistic, and often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner as he or she really is. You feel deeply and throw all of yourself into
your relationships. Nothing is too good for your lover. You enjoy playing love games.

X

You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You can’t
shut off your mind. You talk while you make love. You can have the greatest love affairs, all by yourself, in your own head.

Y

You are sexual, sensual, and very independent. If you can’t have it your way, you will forgo the whole thing. You want to control your
relationships, which doesn’t always work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation, enjoy necking and spending hours  just
touching, feeling and exploring. However, if you can spend your time making money, you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the
moment. You need to prove to yourself and your partner what a great lover you are. You want feedback on your performance. You are
an open, stimulating, romantic bedmate.

Z

For you, it is business before pleasure. If you are in any way bothered by career, business, or money concerns, you find it very hard
to relax and get into the mood. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and are capable of much sensuality. But you never lose
control of your emotions. You are very careful and cautious before you give your heart away and your body, for that matter. Once
you make the commitment, though, you stick like glue.